Expectations

*We do realize inside ourselves that if we expect anything of anyone, one
day we will be let down, so we create the emotion of disappointment, turn
that into anger, and turn that back into fear (that it may happen again).
And it’s all going on in our own minds. The only cure for this cycle of
negative thinking is not to expect anything of anyone. But then you say,
“how is this possible, you have to have expectations that someone will call
you up when you expect him/her to do so, someone will do the job that you
have given him/her correctly, that your child will come home safe and
sound...don’t you?” Well do you? Expectations are not compulsory. And once
we see that they lead to pain maybe we can learn to live without them. But
if you cannot be expectation free instantly, a cure for that is as follows -
have expectations, but don’t get attached to your expectations. Another way
of saying this is don’t let your happiness be dependent on having your
expectations met. No one said this was easy, but it is possible. There will
always be someone who does not do the given task, or arrive at the right
time, or even simply call you as you expected. *

Gurbani says-

ਰਾਗੁ ਸੂਹੀ ਅਸਟਪਦੀਆ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ਘਰੁ ੧
रागु सूही असटपदीआ महला ५ घरु १
Rāg sūhī asatpaḏī▫ā mėhlā 5 gẖar 1
Raag Soohee, Ashtapadees, Fifth Mehl, First House:

ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ॥
ੴ सतिगुर प्रसादि ॥
Ik▫oaʼnkār saṯgur parsāḏ.
One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:

ਉਰਝਿ ਰਹਿਓ ਬਿਖਿਆ ਕੈ ਸੰਗਾ ॥
उरझि रहिओ बिखिआ कै संगा ॥
Urajẖ rahi▫o bikẖi▫ā kai sangā.
He is entangled in sinful associations;

ਮਨਹਿ ਬਿਆਪਤ ਅਨਿਕ ਤਰੰਗਾ ॥੧॥
मनहि बिआपत अनिक तरंगा ॥१॥
Manėh bi▫āpaṯ anik ṯarangā. ||1||
his mind is troubled by so very many waves. ||1||

ਮੇਰੇ ਮਨ ਅਗਮ ਅਗੋਚਰ ॥
मेरे मन अगम अगोचर ॥
Mere man agam agocẖar.
The one who is Unapproachable and Incomprehensible; O my mind,

ਕਤ ਪਾਈਐ ਪੂਰਨ ਪਰਮੇਸਰ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
कत पाईऐ पूरन परमेसर ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
Kaṯ pā▫ī▫ai pūran parmesar. ||1|| rahā▫o.
how can that Perfect Transcendent Lord be found? ||1||Pause||

ਮੋਹ ਮਗਨ ਮਹਿ ਰਹਿਆ ਬਿਆਪੇ ॥
मोह मगन महि रहिआ बिआपे ॥
Moh magan mėh rahi▫ā bi▫āpe.
He remains entangled in the intoxication of worldly love.

ਅਤਿ ਤ੍ਰਿਸਨਾ ਕਬਹੂ ਨਹੀ ਧ੍ਰਾਪੇ ॥੨॥
अति त्रिसना कबहू नही ध्रापे ॥२॥
Aṯ ṯarisnā kabhū nahī ḏẖarāpe. ||2||
His excessive thirst is never quenched. ||2||

ਬਸਇ ਕਰੋਧੁ ਸਰੀਰਿ ਚੰਡਾਰਾ ॥
बसइ करोधु सरीरि चंडारा ॥
Bas▫i karoḏẖ sarīr cẖandārā.
Anger is the outcaste which hides within his body;

ਅਗਿਆਨਿ ਨ ਸੂਝੈ ਮਹਾ ਗੁਬਾਰਾ ॥੩॥
अगिआनि न सूझै महा गुबारा ॥३॥
Agi▫ān na sūjẖai mahā gubārā. ||3||
he is in the utter darkness of ignorance, and he does not understand. ||3||

ਭ੍ਰਮਤ ਬਿਆਪਤ ਜਰੇ ਕਿਵਾਰਾ ॥
भ्रमत बिआपत जरे किवारा ॥
Bẖarmaṯ bi▫āpaṯ jare kivārā.
Afflicted by doubt, the shutters are shut tight;

ਜਾਣੁ ਨ ਪਾਈਐ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਦਰਬਾਰਾ ॥੪॥
जाणु न पाईऐ प्रभ दरबारा ॥४॥
Jāṇ na pā▫ī▫ai parabẖ ḏarbārā. ||4||
he cannot go to God's Court. ||4||


Shri Guru Granth Sahib Page 759(Shri Guru Arjun Dv ji)



*
Exercise: **Who are the two people in your life today from whom you have
high expectations? Do y**ou think it is healthy to have these expectations?
What will you feel if your expectations are not met? What could you do to
make sure that you do not go into disappointment but stay positive when
someone does not fulfill their commitments, which are/were your
expectations?*