Attachment is a mistake

Why do you suffer so much when things that you have brought so close to you
are changed or lost? It is because they are too close. When someone damages
your car and you suffer it is because you think you are the car! This is the
deepest mistake. It is the deepest cause of the suffering called anger. You
are not aware of this of course, but if you were to take a moment and see
what you were doing in your own mind, you would see you have brought the
image of the car up on the screen of your mind. You have then gone into that
image of the car in your mind, and you have lost your 'sense of self' in the
image of the car. In effect you identify with the car. So if the car outside
is scratched or damaged in any way, it feels like it is happening to you
and, as a result, you become disturbed. The disturbance is called anger. In
spiritual terms this would be called attachment. Attachment is a mistake we
all make within our consciousness and it creates what is known as ego. From
a spiritual point of view, ego is the root of all suffering, and all
suffering can be found and felt at an emotional level in the various forms
of fear, anger and sadness.


If you don't want to suffer from fear, anger or sadness, don't get attached
to anything or anyone, to any expectation, any item, any particular outcome
(result). That does not mean you shouldn't have possessions. It does not
mean you can't have people around you that you love. Nor does it mean you
don't have expectations, goals, etc. You do. But your relationship with them
changes. Detachment means you are no longer dependent on any of them for
your peace and happiness. You choose to be peaceful and content anyway. So
when possessions are damaged or when people leave or die or when
expectations are not met, all of which are inevitable, you don't become
discontent. You have realized everything in life comes and goes, everything
decays, every dynamic process is unpredictable and uncontrollable, and must
end. You know this is a reality. Every time you get angry it means you are
having an argument with this reality.



Gurbani says that-

ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ ਮਹਲਾ ੩ ॥
सिरीरागु महला ३ ॥
Sirīrāg mėhlā 3.
Siree Raag, Third Mehl:

ਗੁਣਵੰਤੀ ਸਚੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਤ੍ਰਿਸਨਾ ਤਜਿ ਵਿਕਾਰ ॥
गुणवंती सचु पाइआ त्रिसना तजि विकार ॥
Guṇvanṯī sacẖ pā▫i▫ā ṯarisnā ṯaj vikār.

The virtuous obtain Truth; they give up their desires for evil and corruption.


ਗੁਰ ਸਬਦੀ ਮਨੁ ਰੰਗਿਆ ਰਸਨਾ ਪ੍ਰੇਮ ਪਿਆਰਿ ॥
गुर सबदी मनु रंगिआ रसना प्रेम पिआरि ॥
Gur sabḏī man rangi▫ā rasnā parem pi▫ār.

Their minds are imbued with the Word of the Guru's Shabad; the Love of their Beloved is on their tongues.


ਬਿਨੁ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਕਿਨੈ ਨ ਪਾਇਓ ਕਰਿ ਵੇਖਹੁ ਮਨਿ ਵੀਚਾਰਿ ॥
बिनु सतिगुर किनै न पाइओ करि वेखहु मनि वीचारि ॥
Bin saṯgur kinai na pā▫i▫o kar vekẖhu man vīcẖār.

Without the True Guru, no one has found Him; reflect upon this in your mind and see.


ਮਨਮੁਖ ਮੈਲੁ ਨ ਉਤਰੈ ਜਿਚਰੁ ਗੁਰ ਸਬਦਿ ਨ ਕਰੇ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥੧॥
मनमुख मैलु न उतरै जिचरु गुर सबदि न करे पिआरु ॥१॥
Manmukẖ mail na uṯrai jicẖar gur sabaḏ na kare pi▫ār. ||1||

The filth of the self-willed manmukhs is not washed off; they have no love for the Guru's Shabad. ||1||