Who shuts down our ability to create choices?

The reason we sometimes cannot see the other options, when faced with a
challenging situation, is because our deepest learned habit is to create
fear and then react from that fear, and it's fear that shuts down our
ability to create choices, not to mention paralyzing our ability to assess
the strengths and weakness of each option and make the right choice. We have
been taught to believe that the fear is normal and natural. But the truth is
that the fear paralyses our ability to create what may be much more
appropriate and effective responses. Fear is a learned habit and very soon
we are generating fearfulness at the slightest perceived threat. Contrary to
popular belief, fear has absolutely no value to our well-being. E.g. You
don't even need fear to respond effectively to the unexpected encounter with
a tiger. You need the cool, calm and concentrated focus of the gymnast and
the creativity of the artist to respond effectively. It's not the tiger that
scares you, it's what you do with the tiger in your mind that generates the
fear. Who or what are the tigers or fears in your life? What are you doing
with them in your mind?*


Shri Guru Amar Das ji says-
(Page no-647 in shriGuru Granth Saheb ji)


ਸਲੋਕੁ ਮਃ ੩ ॥
सलोकु मः ३ ॥
Salok mėhlā 3.
Shalok, Third Mehl:

ਪਰਥਾਇ ਸਾਖੀ ਮਹਾ ਪੁਰਖ ਬੋਲਦੇ ਸਾਝੀ ਸਗਲ ਜਹਾਨੈ ॥
परथाइ साखी महा पुरख बोलदे साझी सगल जहानै ॥
Parthā▫e sākẖī mahā purakẖ bolḏe sājẖī sagal jahānai.
Great men speak the teachings by relating them to individual situations, but the whole world shares in them.

ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਹੋਇ ਸੁ ਭਉ ਕਰੇ ਆਪਣਾ ਆਪੁ ਪਛਾਣੈ ॥
गुरमुखि होइ सु भउ करे आपणा आपु पछाणै ॥
Gurmukẖ ho▫e so bẖa▫o kare āpṇā āp pacẖẖāṇai.
One who becomes Gurmukh knows the Fear of God, and realizes his own self.

ਗੁਰ ਪਰਸਾਦੀ ਜੀਵਤੁ ਮਰੈ ਤਾ ਮਨ ਹੀ ਤੇ ਮਨੁ ਮਾਨੈ ॥
गुर परसादी जीवतु मरै ता मन ही ते मनु मानै ॥
Gur parsādī jīvaṯ marai ṯā man hī ṯe man mānai.
If, by Guru's Grace, one remains dead while yet alive, the mind becomes content in itself.

ਜਿਨ ਕਉ ਮਨ ਕੀ ਪਰਤੀਤਿ ਨਾਹੀ ਨਾਨਕ ਸੇ ਕਿਆ ਕਥਹਿ ਗਿਆਨੈ ॥੧॥
जिन कउ मन की परतीति नाही नानक से किआ कथहि गिआनै ॥१॥
Jin ka▫o man kī parṯīṯ nāhī Nānak se ki▫ā kathėh gi▫ānai. ||1||
Those who have no faith in their own minds, O Nanak - how can they speak of spiritual wisdom? ||1||

Time is running away from us.

How often do we convince ourselves that by delaying doing something today,
we will have more time tomorrow. This is how we make it 'seem' that time is
running away from us. And when tomorrow comes the same thing happens – we
find another reason, another excuse to postpone. Why do we do this? Because
we don't feel like doing it says one inner voice, because there are more
important things to be done says another voice. And a third voice says
someone else could do it, should do it, will do it. And yet another voice
says 'it's not that important'! Are any of these voices speaking the truth,
or is there something deeper going on.


Procrastination (Delaying) is an obvious form of avoidance, but what is it
that we are avoiding? Is it the task itself? Is it the possible outcome
which might be less than we expect? Or is it something within ourselves.
Procrastination (Delaying) is one way we avoid seeing ourselves, or aspects
of ourselves, which we would rather not face, acknowledge, explore, resolve
and change.

Shri Guru Arjun Dev ji says -Page no.50

ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥
सिरीरागु महला ५ ॥
Sirīrāg mėhlā 5.
Siree Raag, Fifth Mehl:

ਮਿਠਾ ਕਰਿ ਕੈ ਖਾਇਆ ਕਉੜਾ ਉਪਜਿਆ ਸਾਦੁ ॥
मिठा करि कै खाइआ कउड़ा उपजिआ सादु ॥
Miṯẖā kar kai kẖā▫i▫ā ka▫uṛā upji▫ā sāḏ.
People eat what they believe to be sweet, but it turns out to be bitter in taste.

ਭਾਈ ਮੀਤ ਸੁਰਿਦ ਕੀਏ ਬਿਖਿਆ ਰਚਿਆ ਬਾਦੁ ॥
भाई मीत सुरिद कीए बिखिआ रचिआ बादु ॥
Bẖā▫ī mīṯ suriḏ kī▫e bikẖi▫ā racẖi▫ā bāḏ.
They attach their affections to brothers and friends, uselessly engrossed in corruption.

ਜਾਂਦੇ ਬਿਲਮ ਨ ਹੋਵਈ ਵਿਣੁ ਨਾਵੈ ਬਿਸਮਾਦੁ ॥੧॥
जांदे बिलम न होवई विणु नावै बिसमादु ॥१॥
Jāʼnḏe bilam na hova▫ī viṇ nāvai bismāḏ. ||1||
They vanish without a moment's delay; without God's Name, they are stunned and amazed. ||1||

ਮੇਰੇ ਮਨ ਸਤਗੁਰ ਕੀ ਸੇਵਾ ਲਾਗੁ ॥
मेरे मन सतगुर की सेवा लागु ॥
Mere man saṯgur kī sevā lāg.
O my mind, attach yourself to the service of the True Guru.

ਜੋ ਦੀਸੈ ਸੋ ਵਿਣਸਣਾ ਮਨ ਕੀ ਮਤਿ ਤਿਆਗੁ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
जो दीसै सो विणसणा मन की मति तिआगु ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
Jo ḏīsai so viṇsaṇā man kī maṯ ṯi▫āg. ||1|| rahā▫o.
Whatever is seen, shall pass away. Abandon the intellectualizations of your mind. ||1||Pause||

Attachment is a mistake

Why do you suffer so much when things that you have brought so close to you
are changed or lost? It is because they are too close. When someone damages
your car and you suffer it is because you think you are the car! This is the
deepest mistake. It is the deepest cause of the suffering called anger. You
are not aware of this of course, but if you were to take a moment and see
what you were doing in your own mind, you would see you have brought the
image of the car up on the screen of your mind. You have then gone into that
image of the car in your mind, and you have lost your 'sense of self' in the
image of the car. In effect you identify with the car. So if the car outside
is scratched or damaged in any way, it feels like it is happening to you
and, as a result, you become disturbed. The disturbance is called anger. In
spiritual terms this would be called attachment. Attachment is a mistake we
all make within our consciousness and it creates what is known as ego. From
a spiritual point of view, ego is the root of all suffering, and all
suffering can be found and felt at an emotional level in the various forms
of fear, anger and sadness.


If you don't want to suffer from fear, anger or sadness, don't get attached
to anything or anyone, to any expectation, any item, any particular outcome
(result). That does not mean you shouldn't have possessions. It does not
mean you can't have people around you that you love. Nor does it mean you
don't have expectations, goals, etc. You do. But your relationship with them
changes. Detachment means you are no longer dependent on any of them for
your peace and happiness. You choose to be peaceful and content anyway. So
when possessions are damaged or when people leave or die or when
expectations are not met, all of which are inevitable, you don't become
discontent. You have realized everything in life comes and goes, everything
decays, every dynamic process is unpredictable and uncontrollable, and must
end. You know this is a reality. Every time you get angry it means you are
having an argument with this reality.



Gurbani says that-

ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ ਮਹਲਾ ੩ ॥
सिरीरागु महला ३ ॥
Sirīrāg mėhlā 3.
Siree Raag, Third Mehl:

ਗੁਣਵੰਤੀ ਸਚੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਤ੍ਰਿਸਨਾ ਤਜਿ ਵਿਕਾਰ ॥
गुणवंती सचु पाइआ त्रिसना तजि विकार ॥
Guṇvanṯī sacẖ pā▫i▫ā ṯarisnā ṯaj vikār.

The virtuous obtain Truth; they give up their desires for evil and corruption.


ਗੁਰ ਸਬਦੀ ਮਨੁ ਰੰਗਿਆ ਰਸਨਾ ਪ੍ਰੇਮ ਪਿਆਰਿ ॥
गुर सबदी मनु रंगिआ रसना प्रेम पिआरि ॥
Gur sabḏī man rangi▫ā rasnā parem pi▫ār.

Their minds are imbued with the Word of the Guru's Shabad; the Love of their Beloved is on their tongues.


ਬਿਨੁ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਕਿਨੈ ਨ ਪਾਇਓ ਕਰਿ ਵੇਖਹੁ ਮਨਿ ਵੀਚਾਰਿ ॥
बिनु सतिगुर किनै न पाइओ करि वेखहु मनि वीचारि ॥
Bin saṯgur kinai na pā▫i▫o kar vekẖhu man vīcẖār.

Without the True Guru, no one has found Him; reflect upon this in your mind and see.


ਮਨਮੁਖ ਮੈਲੁ ਨ ਉਤਰੈ ਜਿਚਰੁ ਗੁਰ ਸਬਦਿ ਨ ਕਰੇ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥੧॥
मनमुख मैलु न उतरै जिचरु गुर सबदि न करे पिआरु ॥१॥
Manmukẖ mail na uṯrai jicẖar gur sabaḏ na kare pi▫ār. ||1||

The filth of the self-willed manmukhs is not washed off; they have no love for the Guru's Shabad. ||1||