Self-esteem comes when I really value myself: When I place value on myself,
then others, too, will value me. When I don't value myself, how can I expect
others to value me? If I continuously put myself down, saying 'I'm no good'
or 'I am not capable', other people who hear this will start believing it.
So what do I do? The key word is 'consciousness'. As I start to become make
my consciousness positive by creating positive thoughts many times in the
day about myself like “I am the most fortunate soul in the universe” or “I
am a victorious soul, I cannot experience failure in any step in life” or “I
am a self sovereign soul, ruler of my sense organs” or “I am a destroyer of
obstacles” or “I am a spiritual rose flower who spreads the fragrance of
divine qualities” or similar thoughts, I become spiritually alert, then I am
in a position to start valuing my life and as I start valuing myself, I
develop self-confidence. The effect of this is that I start valuing others,
understanding that everyone has their own position: not higher or lower,
just different. Each one's uniqueness has its value.*
Gurbani says-
ਨਾਨਕ ਪਰਖੇ ਆਪ ਕਉ ਤਾ ਪਾਰਖੁ ਜਾਣੁ ॥: Nanak parkhe aap kayu ta paarakh jaan: O Nanak, if someone judges himself, only then is he known as a real judge (Sri Guru Granth Sahib 14.
ਇਸੁ ਮਨ ਕਉ ਕੋਈ ਖੋਜਹੁ ਭਾਈ ॥: Is mann kayu koee khojo bhaaee: Let each person examine his own mind, O brother (Sri Guru Granth Sahib 112.
